Sunday, January 8, 2012

A Rose By Any Other Name

My husband finds trouble wherever he goes, it seems. More likely, trouble finds him. All I know is that when he embarks upon a simple errand, it is never simple. Complications ensue. And today's events did not disappoint.

He decided to take our daughter's large area rug to a laundromat to be cleaned. He headed off to a place a few minutes away. Of course, it was out of business. He called me to report this, and I jumped online and quickly located another laundromat nearby for him to check out.

This one was open and my husband settled in for the duration. After depositing $2.75 for the wash cycle, his attention was soon drawn to another patron. This man was doing a lot of laundry and, well, not to put too fine a point on it...he smelled bad. Real bad. "He'd crapped himself," my husband explained to me.



The stench was enough to drive my husband outside to seek fresh air. So as he was standing there on the sidewalk, minding his own business, a car filled with teenagers pulled up to the curb in front of him. The occupants began shouting juvenile, rude remarks at him. (See, trouble finds him!). My husband was vague about what specifically transpired. Challenges to a fight, perhaps. My husband is the opposite of big and burly. That has never stopped him from backing down from a confrontation. As he tells it, he took a step toward the car and the driver immediately floored it, away.

Back inside, my husband was a bit perplexed by the .25 cent dryer fee. Turns out, it was .25 cents for a 10-minute dry cycle. As it is a large rug, you can imagine it takes a number of dry cycles to fully dry. Eventually, monotony and the lingering stench of oops-I-crapped-my-pants man led him to flee with a still-very-damp rug. (It's drying on our clothesline outside right now).

As he returned to his car, he noticed the car next to his. Specifically, he noticed some distinctive red totes in the back seat. Did I mention my husband works for a very large pharmaceutical distribution company? The totes were from his company. Taking them off the premises is an actionable offense. So thinking quickly, he snapped a picture of the absconded totes in the car, and of the car's license plate. Tomorrow at work, he plans to email the pics to the powers-that-be. My husband may not be rewarded for his good deed. But I say he came out of this tale smelling like a rose.

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